Deadliest Resume Mistake - Are You About to Make the Deadliest of All Resume Mistakes?

Understandably job hunters try to hide their past. Some were fired more than once or have been out of work for months, even years, or changed careers a lot. Result: They fear a chronological resume and choose functional. Let's kill this biggest of all resume mistakes and find out what to do instead.
Deadliest Resume Mistake - You write a functional formatted resume and try to leave out, hide, or bury your ugly job history and dates. Guaranteed disaster. In a "blink" the newest screener tosses or deletes your resume. It's over. You lose.
Why It's The Biggest Resume Mistake Ever? - Because functional or hype-driven resumes hide or delay information recruiters and interviewers demand in first 9 seconds. Functional resumes tell the reader how great you think you are and not about what problems you have solved. Functional resumes signal you are hiding something.
What You Should Do Instead - Ditch the functional formatted resume. Draft your resume so it quacks like a chronologically formatted resume, looks like a date-driven resume, and delivers needed information fast like a resume should, but does not spill the beans the way classic resumes do.
Warning: Do not lie, cheat, steal, fudge, or mislead. Your resume is a legal document. More than 75% of all Nigerian resumes contain "inaccuracies." Employers know. Ignore this warning at your peril.
Directions To Get To Work:
*Center bold face job title as a headline in 16pt type at top of your resume below your name, phone number, and e-mail address.
*Summarize in first short paragraph centered and labeled "Qualifications," justified margins, all Qualifications that match needs & wording of job listing.
*List in chronological order, most recent RELATED job experience first, margined left, all job titles, names of past employers (not names of bosses), city & state. Years only of employment, e.g., "2000 - 2002"; no months, please.
*Two or three short lines summarizing job descriptions (KJRs) and insert below three or four indented and bulleted statements of results (accomplishments, achievements, victories) for each related job only, please.
*Under new, centered, bold face heading labeled "Past Experience," list in chronological order, most recent job first, margined left, other employment history, BUT not every job you have ever held.
*All jobs you show including ones related to the job listing need only cover approximately the past 10 years, please. Do not worry about date gaps.
*End your two-page resume with display of real skills, formal Education, Training and Certifications, and Professional Affiliations followed by Volunteer Community Leadership Involvement.
*Do not list why you left or were asked to leave any job. Not required.
*Repeat: "Your resume is not a job application!"